Monday, January 16, 2012

Breakup with cookie cocaine

So this guy is a writer, so im just saying the style of the blog is gonna be a bit different.
He's already whining about my grammer so lets start.
At the moment he is in a spiral of negativity.
Hes gonna try to explain whats wrong with him;

Chris: Okay here's the jist of it; I'm babbling in the void. I'm strung out. Fucked up. Fucked out. My dick hasn't been sucked up for about six month's. SIX MONTH'S. Basically i'm depressed. 

Im supposed to be dr phil right now wich im not, im just a stoned teenager (im 20) tryin to give some advice.

Chris: Fuck dr. Phill. I don't need Dr. Phill. Nobody needs Dr. Phill except for whiney empty airheaded suburban bitches. I need love. A friend. A compadre. A fucking homey. You are slipping away. Madddoging the world by yourself. As so you should. Get out there and fuck the world. Fuck  your girlfriend. Marry here. Fuck her after you marry her. Fuck her in America. Fuck her when your old. When you're an old man wasted by time. Get babbies. Fuck a lot and get babbies. Yeah baby! I'm all manic and babbling. Babbling in the void yes sirree. Is that joint already dead?

Yes that joint is already barried, up in smoke so to say. And yes both me and chris are the stereotype stoners who feel that were better than 90% of the people out there, get over it already.
And ive never said i wanted babbies, ill adopt some african 12 year old dye his hair red and tell everyone its my son.So no babies for me, but chris what are you trying to say? 

Well no i'm thinking you should pay me for this gig. I'm giving you literary gold here motherfucker. Pay this bitch. 

Funny your calling yourself a bitch.
But ehm, you wanted to talk about it so quit ur bitching, and dont even think about keep that 20bucks u owe me.

Here we go with the twenty bucks shit. Keep reminding a broke ass nigga. I'm depressed. I need to spend money on myself. I'm a writer. I deserve money...

Fuck you your the one trying to make me pay you for this shit, even after i loan u money.
That said there's no book out there yet, were both just stoney teenagers wich are a little older than that, but fuck facing reality right now, u just need to earn your money, get some burgers going....

You rotten bastard i'm the one flipping bugers! Do you know how much it costs to get high as shit everyday? A lot more than twenty bucks a week. Have some respect for the old boy. You know i'm good for it. Soon i will be known. Ill make fat stacks of cash. I'll be doing coke lines on expensive strippers while you are sucking cock for blow. IBut sadly until that day when i can pay you to suck my cock I have to get all money I ccan, to feel better about myself. To do the drugs to feel better about myself. So fuck you. 

Its a simple sum thought, how much burgers do u flip for 1euro. That times 20 and u got ur fix.
I know ur good for it uhuh, i can drop a name and u know what im talking about, even this would be enough to let you know, so im good for it, i believe in u staying sober for 1 day :)
And me sucking cock? ur the one doing the blow...

COCAINE. I havent done enough cocaine man! CRASH! BOING! fucking reality crashing in... Do we have  any more weed left. Wait is that a fucking joint your lighting up there? You goddamn bastard. Give me that joint!!!!!!

And there we toss, here i am again.
No crash or boing here, everything is chill, im just waiting for you to start talking some non bullshit.
We were supposed to know by know why ur feeling depressed, you immediately started talking about cocaine, might that be a hint /

First off, why did you eat all the cookies? I feel like a cokee right now. Cokee-cocaine. That's a good tittle for this blog. Wait.... I'm rambling again. COKEE-COCAINE. 

Stop talking this bullshit and start cracking chrissy whissy

What the humungous fuck is 'Chris whissy'? 

Jesus dude can you quit already, you even remember the title of this blog ? 'Friend of mine broke up with his Fiancee' now for fuck sake what are you talking about. Get real motherfucker!

Get real. Get stoned. Get fucked. Get a job. Get a life. Rip of Trainspotting. I don't know what I'm doing anymore. It's all too hazy to know what's up. I just want what I lost back. If I can't have that. I'll have the cokee-cocaine. 

Done the first 3 so im more than halfway, not bad right, lets just hope people pick up on the reference.
But she broke up with you, you know its not gonna happen, you know what kind of person she is, you know her better than most people out there id say.I think you should stop clamping on to her, get some other cute girls in your life.

So that's the solution? Fuck a cute girl. Try to hold on to that shit for life and hope she won't leave? Hope the cutesness wont evolve into a nasty ass-fuck. It's all about that gaping hole of a cunt you need to fall into. Fall forever and hope you are right. Hope the hole is big enough for you to fall into before you die. What does it matter? What does anything better? People slip away. Nobody stays. No cunt is big enouhg... 

Do you even like pussy, your comparing it to a blackhole in the fucking universe basically, thats the fucking graveyard of the universe haha shit dude....
No but i get what your sayin, if you fuck a girl you fall in love, ull spend everything on it, and then ur being dumped into a cold lake, but if you get out before the lake part u might dodge the sucking effect of a blackhole.

The big cunt is a black hole. Love is a black hole. You just basically confirmed to me why my depression, melancholy, despondency or whatever fucking you want to call this state of blue, why I should be feeling this way. Nobody stays. Get out. Hope someone pulls you before it happens. Get hit by a truck. Get a heart-attack. Fuck yourself to death. Get out before love leaves you. Nothing lasts forever.... What the fuck is the point then? 

I might have said it in diffrent ways that you didnt pick up on right, or i expressed it the wrong way, but im glad you got it now. And you wont be getting an hard attack, she would be the one dying, and youll be hitting it till its dry!

It's all a big commercial. Come out and get a job. Be usefull to society. Get a diploma and make motherfuckers rich. Make yourself rich. You can be because the big cunt's are waiting for you. THE BIG CUNTS ARE WAITING FOR YOU! You again also have not even attempted to exlaim any point of life and maybe you don't know either. Maybe your as clueless as me. Who says I'm not seeing things clearly? Who says that you're not the one full of proper shit? 

Survival of the fittest, whatever you gonna call it, its always you against society, live your life the way they plan it out for you.Dont go offroad there, dangerous area, full of big cunts.
My philosophy on life, is just do what makes you happy, long term short term, just be happy with what you are doing, ofcourse there are tough times, but those make the good times even better, you gotta bring some negativity to get positivity.

So that's your goddamn advice? It's A. Get a big BIG JUICY CUNT. B. Be a punk bitch against society. C. Just do whatever makes you feel happy- you fucking cheesy bastard, D. The bad times make the good times sweeter. Seriously? That all you got? Oh wait, you are engaged, you have prospects, you have a big juicy cunt and all of that makes it easier for you to be pursuaded by all this clap-trap. This horse-ass of a philosophy. You might be right. I don't know. But I think you can do better. Much better on the terms of philosophy. AS for happiness.... No fucking idea mate. No fucking idea...

Good idea, lets sum it up to keep it easy ahum..
A. I said get what you want, if that a juicy cunt im fine with it.
B.Thats only if society makes u depressed or not happy, if ur not happy about it, change it.
C.Cheesy ok, but whats wrong with being happy, seems pretty important to give u strentgh for other shit.
D.All i got? No just all we need thats all.
E. wait there isnt
Well it seems like you have a diffrent state of mind about it.Tell us about it and let the philosophy flow.

 Of course i'm in a different state of mind. I'm goddamn depressed. I'm depressed because that sweet juicy cunt left me. She doesn't love me anymore. SHe's now banging a fucking Englishmen. Getting proper cock of an Englishman. ANd I miss her. I might write like a bastard, i might use a lot of dirty words, but this profane bastard is heartbroken. This bastard sees you having all I wanted, you even have the American cute girlfriend with it. You have the shit. I don't. I dont have shit. Or not the shit I want. My philosophy now? I don't know. I just chase the words. I'm trying to be happy but I'm making an ass of myself as I'm trying. I don't see the point sometimes. I don't see the point and I want to go away sometimes. This doesn't seem worthy if this is how it is. If it get's as confusing, as painful as fucked up as this, what in the name of sweet Jesus Christ is the fucking point?

Ok the jealous part is clear to me i get that, i understand it hurts so im sorry for that yet that is all i can do.And im afraid i cant help you with the whole ex fiancee situation neither, id be a listening ear, i would help you kill the englishman. But i dont think that would do much good either.No what i think you should do is focus on the parts that do make you happy, its probably gonna be less satisfying than getting married but you will do better for now.

You can't help. It's all fucked and nobody can help. Life is all fucked and everybody just has to take it. Nothing can be done about this. Ride it out. Live life. Maybe it's going to be okay. Maybe it's going to be okay but don't bet on it. Just try your best. And while I'm killing the Englishman would make me happy for a moment, nothing will change. It would still be fucked between us.... 
I'm survive this. i guess. Maybe i know i have to. But as you get the life I wanted, take care of it. I'm sorry for being jealous and I can't fault you for being happy. I'm as pathethic as the next miserable bastard. Fuck it. Just don't forget about me while you are there. Don't forget what's out there... I need a smoke. THe words are sinking away. Say something beautiful at the end my friend. Say something beautiful to all the people who are reading this. All the people that know what you and I are talking about. All the miserable bastards out there. All the people that wanted love but didn't get it. All the people that lost it. Lost life. Lost love. Lost themselves. Tell them something beautiful Tell them why they should live a little longer...

Instead of focussing on the good things, you do this, you keep on reliving the moment.
And that it probably your way of dealing with it, yet its not doing you much good at the moment, you just have to get used to being on your own again not having her on your side, in you arms waking up besides you, cleaning your kitchen when you dont want to. im glad though that you realise killing him isnt the solution, at least you are past that stage.Ive thought a long time if i should have told you she has a new boyfriend, i thought it would hurt you even more. I didnt want that, thats why i didnt say it at first, i had to rethink what i should do with the information i had, being drunk on new years, i thought you had the right to know and i told you, maybe i shouldnt, i know it hurted you, but i really thought you had to know, did you want me to keep it a secret? thats the question i asked myself, and i know you always want to know the truth so there it was. 4am on new years.You dont have to be afraid of me not talking to you or whatever, im like some fuckedup decease you wont get rid off.You might feel jealous sad angry and whatnot, but any other person in your shoes would have done the same. Well for the shoutout to all the people out there, they will find the words im about to say standard cheesy shit or whatever, but as u said, i dont give a fuck. but i truly believe that whatever people do as long as they do what makes them happy they will reach there goal, remember who you are, dont lose your identity and stay true to the people you love, having a positive attitude like that can only be helpful to all your other problem.Everybody should live a little longer because they havent experienced it all, you might thought you had ultimate happiness but there's more to life than what we have seen.

And with that; I know I'm not babbling in the void no more. I tell Erik I'm putting a positive spin on my last words. He says I don't have to. He says get real with the shit. I try. Maybe I didn't try hard enough. Maybe I can't, too depressed or too stoned I don't know. But I'm not babbling in the no more. Not now as I'm sitting here. And there's still some weed left and this motherfucker isn't going anywhere tonight. He's still here. Listening to my bullshit. That's a good spin to end it on I think. Isn't it?

Thats what im here for, thats why people are ready this blog, so thanks for the good ending, we'll probably hear more of you on this blog sometime, till then i wanna thank everybody who read it this far, and feel free to share you thoughts in the comments below we'd love to hear what u think, my apologies if the grammar is a bit fucked here and there, but so are we.
Goodnight everyone


  1. Great read! Really interesting, wow.
    Is this your original creation?
    If it is then good job, mate.

    1. Thanks, and yes it is, two man job though

  2. I don't even know what to say.

  3. Wow that was interesting you took talking to yourself to a whole new it

  4. Wow, I'm only halfway through and I just want to say I love it so far!

  5. in depth and interesting new ideas, i like it keep it up

  6. oh my. great effort. i can barely reach half of this length when writing. hats off :)

  7. LOL what just happened. I feel like I just got mind-fked. hahaha

  8. Great post, long but interesing!

  9. A little something you should know, teen(ager) comes from the teens at the end of 13-19 numbers. Once you hit 20, sadly you can't really call yourself a teen.

    1. yea, was some sort of a joke, but thx anyway!