Friday, March 2, 2012

May we all be wiser in the future.

                     1
Elias has lost his funk.
     He has got it all twisted. He has no idea what he wants to do with his life. He says there’s too much pressure to do anything.
     ‘’If people put too much pressure on me to do anything, like mommy does, I rather don’t do fucking anything! You know what I mean?”
     ‘’I know what you mean. Too much pressure stops us from thinking straight.’’
     ‘’Thinking straight? That’s fucking impossible in this world dude. It’s fucking impossible.’’
     He was right. I felt the pressure. I still feel it now. We both feel it now.
     And after a couple of silent puffs of the joint, Elias lost it:
     ‘’YOU GOTTA DO IT NOW! DO IT NOW! WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU SITTING AROUND AND DOING FUCKING NOTHING! ALL YOU ARE IS A BIG MAN DOING NOTHING! THINK STRAIGHT! GET YOUR LIFE STRAIGHT! GET GOING! DO SOMETHING! YOU BORE! YOU LOSER! YOU WANKER! YOU NOTHING! YOU ARE MR. NOTHING!
     You are nothing because you don’t do anything…’’
                     2
Is it pressure or are you just afraid your gonna be late. It might be your perception of not having any time anymore, yet there might be enough ways to get more time to do the shit you wanna do, but you didn’t even thought of it. Its just people on the outside telling you, you don’t have time anymore and that changes your perception on what you gotta and how your gonna do that, and ofcourse in what time you would, but only if you thought it trough enough, right Charles?
                     3
‘’Yes but the people might be right. I might be wrong. You might be wrong. We both might be wrong. Have you ever considered the possibility that you might be fucked in the head? HAVE YOU? Because if you haven’t, you should! You should check your shit right now! You might be fucking crazy! In my opinion I don’t think you are. I think you are a stand-up guy. I think your cool and I consider you my brother…
     But ignoring all that. I might also be fucked in the head. You trust me. You love me. But I might be crazy and my judgment might contain delusions. You might love but you can’t trust me because I’m fucked in the head.
     Who are you going to trust? Who the FUCK are you going to trust? How can you trust anybody if you can’t trust yourself? How the fuck can you love someone if you basically shit on yourself all day?
     Who the fuck? Who is right? Who the fuck is right?…’’
4
What if its not about the pressure, but just finding the thing you wanna do and be a 100% certain of it, the thing that you feel you need to do, for whatever reason it might make you feel good, it doesn’t matter, as long as you intentions are genuine your doing what makes you happy. What so wrong about that huh? Well maybe the fact that you wont have any education and having to work the next 4to what 10 years of a salary of max 10 bucks an hour, jesus there’s that.. Then again, did you think that by 22 youd already have all the shit figured out that’s gonna be influenced by the decisions you make, you cant predict or know whats gonna change or stay the same when you make a certain decision, for example to take a certain study, the obvious part is that your gonna be broke most of the time, but Charles tell me, what influences do decisions make ?
                     5
‘’You mean what are the exact things that influence your inevitable decisions?
     That could be a lot of things. I blame it personally on overzealous existentialism. Even though I hardly read fucking philosophy- even though I still have a philosophy book in my book closet which you have purchased for me as a gift, yes I’m fucking sorry that I still haven’t read it…- I do have an extraordinary knack for philosophical discourse- shit sometimes I wonder if you even need education for that? The big questions come naturally for me. They come, they go and they fuck me up. In some instances it’s like all the women in my life I guess.
     Anyway, let’s not talk about woman. Leave the bitches out of the eternal discourse- which is something we are having right now, discussing the shit we might have the answer too.
     We aren’t wise enough and maybe we will be wiser in the future- MAYBE WE WILL BE WISER IN THE FUTURE
J- But we always have the if’s, maybe’s and those fucking spirits of the past, and our own, a spirit that was probably tainted from the start to deal with…
     We might be wiser in the future my dear friend. We might be. Or we might still be full of shit. I don’t know. You can’t expect me to know… But just try to fucking yourself dude.
     Go ahead and find yourself.
     And then move on; doing god knows what…’’
                     6
Well every decision is inevitable I think, sooner or later your gonna have to make a choice.AND I FUCKING KNEW U DIDN’T READ THE BOOK, U NEVER SAID SHIT ABOUT IT ANYMORE.Then again I shouldn’t be hypocritical as I didn’t read the ones you gave me either so I wont bitch about that. I think we got enough of our own problems to help people, so yes I do think you would need an education for it. Because Charles, if you would be medicating me, id probably kill myself withing 6 months. Well why not talk about it, it’s a big influence on your life, you want love, it a basic human need. And it’s a different kind of love than you have for mary jane lol, but what im trying to say is, is that all those big decisions influence eachother, and you don’t always have those influences figured out. If you think you do, you wont be so sure anymore, but that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t make those decisions just because of that, you should also make the decisions to learn from it, observe and report to yourself what kind of influence your decisions have and get wiser EVENTUALLY, but a lot of the “if’s” we have are question that wont be answered anytime soon, so we shouldn’t worry to much about It YET ofcourse you should think about the if’s and the influences it has, but it shouldn’t stand in the way of making your decisions, because if you don’t make your decisions your gonna be full of shit anyway, so hop on the train NOW! FUCKING NOW U ASSHOLE. No pressure, no sure, ill em , just go with ehm, yea give me a big mac with medium fries please, god did that have to take 10 fucking minutes ?
                          7
                You rambling cunt!
     What the fuck do you mean that if I would be medicating you, that you would kill yourself within six months? Where the fuck did that came from?
     Ugh. I’m stoned. My puff is disappearing. The eternal discourse takes a lot of puff- a lot of energy, a lot of soul, a lot of spirit, the whole lot of you: the whole lot of all who are involved… LOOK AT YOU! YOU ARE YAWNING! READY TO CROACK LIKE A BITCH! DON’T YOU SEE: GETTING TO KNOW ONE’S SELF IS GOING TO TAKE ALL THE PUFF YOU HAVE, IT’S GOING TO RATTLE EVERYTHING YOU THINK YOU ARE, IT’S GOING TO RATTLE IT, SHAKE IT, FUCK IT!
     YOU WILL BE FUCKED WITH!
     But then you will know who you are. But you can’t rush the shit. You can’t FUCKING rush the shit. You can’t comply to become something just because people or society expects you to! As you shouldn’t! If you have to be a fuck-up before you become the man you want to be, then be the fuck-up! Be the fuck-up if nothing else is available. But while you are fucking up, while you are being the slacker, use that time to figure out who you want to be- and maybe you want the fuck-up all your life!
     Shit maybe that’s you were always meant to be. Maybe that’s what I was always meant to be.
     HA! Of course not you silly wanker! You are not a fuck-up! I’m not a fuck-up! But you don’t know you are. I have an idea but I’m not there yet. I just know that I want to write but all the factors that I am supposed to take care of, is still a loss to me. I’m still making the fat stack I want to go to place I want to go. I still don’t have the proper papers to step into a better paid job. I still don’t have the love of my life cradling me, hugging me, sucking me, fucking me… I still don’t have the love I want. I still have a lot of days to be fucking miserable.
     We have all days to be stuck in THE GREAT CONFUSION. And so we get lost in THE ETERNAL DISCOURSE.
     But don’t ever rush to get out. Don’t you fucking do that my friend! Don’t you fucking rush to get out! Live it. Live it all. Feel the pain. Get it in your bones. Know its habits. Don’t escape what’s there. It’s there and it’s fucking you up.
     Deal with it. Be a man and deal with it. Cry like a bitch. Cry to mommy. Cry to your girlfriend. Cry to your friends. Cry like a fucking man…
     But don’t ever tread THE GREAT RUSH and expect yourself to not be more confused about the state of your existence… Don’t rush to become something if you don’t know who you are… Just support yourself until you do.
     But support yourself in the right way… I think… I’m lost. I rambled. I’m stuck. I’m stuck in the eternal discourse again… Maybe you should rush… Maybe you should rush to get the fuck out… Fuck the pain. I don’t want to feel it to… I don’t want to feel this everyday…
     But you get through it man. You have the occasional melancholy fucking you up but our spirits are strong… Our spirits are so much stronger than you think… I will find love… I will get out and be loved… I will get out and love the man I have become… The writer, the poet, the lover, the Underdog…’’
     ‘’Okay can I talk now dude? You have been jabbering away for abut fifteen minutes now. Do you have any clue what the fuck you are talking about? Do you actually still want to smoke a joint after that demented philosophical tirade of yours? Jesus Christ… How am I supposed to reply with this?
     What will be my last words? Why did you involve me in the eternal discourse? What planet are you from?
     What planet am I from? WHAT FUCKING PLANET AM I FROM?
     And I didn’t know. I honestly didn’t know- probably from the same crazy planet I came from, I suppose.
     So I told him we should build another joint. We should smoke it. We should smoke it and get goodly high.
     Of course we already were. But we needed more puff. We needed more funk.
     I told Elias: get us out the funk! Please get us out the funk Mr. KUSH? Get us out of here! Don’t leave us rambling in the void alone! Take us to your planet! Take us to your dealer!
     Take us where we belong.
     Please my friend, take me where you belong… So I’ll at least have a place where I’ll feel welcome
J
                          8
Yea Charles sure, im the one that’s rambling, I honestly try not to be hypocritical, but your pushing it dude, and that’s why u shouldn’t medicate me, that and many other things, things that I don’t wanna get into because ill be rambling more than you. Ok my “friend”, chill out ill wont rush, I got the feeling this rant of you is your way of trying to medicate me, HELP MY MIND IS GETTING SHREDDED ALREADY!!!

END NOTE: These paragraphs were co-written. They were written by CHRIS UNDERDOG and THE UNKNOWN-WHITE GUY. The uneven numbers are written by CHRIS UNDERDOG.
   May you be wiser than us after reading this article...
                    -C.U. & UWG



17 comments:

  1. What can come from being high, always funny to read, hope there was plenty of luck finding that planet, err umm dealer.

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  2. Go for it! Nothing like making an impact!

    Hank

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  3. Nice post!!! And you’ve got a gorgeous blog too!!!
    Check out my blog and if you feel like drinking a sip of ABSOstyle with me, we could followed each other by GFC + Bloglovin’ … ;) I’ll be waiting for you!!!

    KISSES!
    Estefanía J. ABSOstyle

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  4. You can tell it was co-written, but in a good way. Those two writers definitely work well together

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  5. It helped each of them have a voice. Nice one man.

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  6. I never handled pressure and expectation well...good read

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  7. Damned good read but I'm definitely not wiser than those two.....

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  8. Great read, not sure I'm wiser though.

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  9. Nice co llaborative process, it's interesting seeing where this may lead?. Screenplay maybe?

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  10. this was an interesting read, sounds deep guys

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